This
last week, I've been recovering from my daughter's wedding - the first of two
this summer, and a pulled tooth that I didn't take care of sooner. And I
have been pondering. Mostly because to do anything else was just too
stressful this week. But you know how you have recurring thoughts and
messages that continue to bombard you from one angle or another? Well...
here's mine over the last couple of weeks?
Kathy,
are you ALL IN?
Now
I've been pretty tired this week. The thought of mustering up enough
energy to be IN to anything has me going back to bed and pulling the covers up
over my head.
What
does ALL IN mean?
Is
it fully committed?
Completely
engaged?
Totally
disciplined?
Giving
all energy, time, money, & effort toward a cause- or a relationship?
Does
it mean you've got it all together?
Is
it in my marriage? my relationship with my girls? most significantly with the
Lord?
Is
it commitment to my job?
or
my dreams?
or
others in my world?
Whoosh!
I'm tired again!
If
I were to ask you ... Are you
ALL IN?
how
would you reply?
Do
you feel like you are ALL IN anywhere?
I
don't!
I
want to be, ...I think.
I
want to feel committed to something important
I
want to feel drawn by the urgency of a dream
I
want to feel deeply involved in lives- especially Ren and the girls and their
important young men
I
want to impact lives of friends, and family, and clients
I
want to be so IN in my relationship with my God that I KNOW what His best is
for me
I
want to be so ALL IN in my care of myself that my health; body, mind, and soul
show it.
I
want to be so ALL IN that my finances reflect health also
There
have been times when I thought I was ALL IN- truly was!
Total
commitment- total energy- total vision
Only
to discover that the cost of being ALL IN was very high!
Being
ALL IN didn't lead to health; in me, in my family, in those I worked with.
I
don't want to be ALL IN like that again.
...ever
again.
or
do I?
Did
I - even in the 'unhealth' of being ALL IN- experience incredible healing &
fulfillment?
Is
there a way to be ALL IN and still be balanced?
or
is balance a mirage- an ideal
that is truly not possible?
To
live only partially in... is that even worth doing?
This
past weekend, we went to Wheaton Bible Church with Cait & Jack. In the sermon, the pastor kept saying,
"It's not how you started, but how you finish."
I
want to finish well. I want to finish ALL IN.
But as you can see, I have more
questions at the moment than I do answers.
And
I will just say it out right ... I am not looking for pat answers to these
questions.
I
want to hear from people who know what it is to wrestle with these same
questions.
People
who know what it is to live in these questions ....the key word being LIVE!
People
who know it's not about balance at all.
You,
I would like to hear from.
Are
you ALL IN?
What
are your thoughts?
