A Birthday card ...for Leisha?

...or for me?

We celebrated Leisha's birthday (April 28) and my Dad's birthday (April 29) with my parents and my brother Brad, Tanya, Chelsi and her boyfriend Zach!  I don't know if we've ever celebrated Dad & Leisha's birthday's together all these years.  But Ren & I got to be in Texas this time and enjoyed our visit with them.

Mom slipped a card over to me after we finished eating.  On the front was written 'Leisha's Hope' and inside was a gift for the electricity DEEP WOODS project.  I was elated.  There was also a page that had been torn out of a daily bread devotional.  She had marked some portions of it that she especially wanted me to see.  I slipped in back in the envelope and promised I would read it later.  

I didn't get a chance to read it till we were traveling home a couple of days later.  But I was amazed how it tied in with the dreams and words of the hymn on Leisha's birthday. (See April 28th's blog)

I include it here in it's entirety so I won't forget what it said...

from OUR DAILY BREAD, February 8, 2013

Mysterious Truth

Sometimes when the infinite God conveys His thoughts to finite man, mystery is the result. For example, there’s a profound verse in the book of Psalms that seems to present more questions than answers: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants” (116:15 niv).

I shake my head and wonder how that can be. I see things with earthbound eyes, and I have a tough time seeing what is “precious” about the fact that our daughter was taken in a car accident at the age of 17—or that any of us have lost cherished loved ones.

We begin to unwrap the mystery, though, when we consider that what is precious to the Lord is not confined to earthly blessings. This verse examines a heaven-based perspective. For instance, I know from Psalm 139:16 that Melissa’s arrival in God’s heaven was expected. God was looking for her arrival, and it was precious in His eyes. And think about this: Imagine the Father’s joy when He welcomes His children home and sees their absolute ecstasy in being face to face with His Son (see John 17:24).

When death comes for the follower of Christ, God opens His arms to welcome that person into His presence. Even through our tears, we can see how precious that is in God’s eyes.

Lord, when sorrow grips our hearts as we think about

the death of one close to us, remind us of the joy You are

experiencing as our loved one enjoys the pleasures of

heaven. Please allow that to give us hope and comfort.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. —Psalm 116:15

A sunset in one land is a sunrise in another.

Pasted from <http://odb.org/2013/02/08/mysterious-truth/> 

Thanks Mom!

Happy Birthday Leisha!

She would have been...

22!  Today she would have been 22,

and possibly graduating from college with her friends this May

And maybe 'getting married'
like her other two sisters are this year. 

But I don't know what she is 'right now'!

I sense she is very much alive

Thoroughly using the gifts and abilities
God has designed her to use

Experiencing deeply the joy of being authentically  Leisha

But this morning I sense there is more… much more!

I woke up from some vivid dreams- It is dark

and I'm aware I am not in my own bed, but the guest bed at my parents home. Ren lays beside me sleeping soundly, though he had been so restless the night before.

Much like I felt now.

The dreams were a collage of dreams really- all having a different setting  and different characters too

But the plot was similar

Somewhere- somehow- something tragic happened and someone died.

Someone was ripped out of the life of another who loved them.

Someone was left with a gapping hole and a horrific ache.

I would stir from one dream only to appear in the middle of another story with the same heart wrenching scene.

I lay there sobbing silently- reliving what was  my own tragic  scene

Rehashing my own violent emotions

Longing- deeply longing to hold my girl once again.

To celebrate her birthday with her present-

this day that reminded me she had lived

She had messed up my world from the day she was born

And I knew I would never be the same because of it.

I was eternally grateful.

But this night my heart senses more...much more!

My Leisha may not celebrate her 'earth birthday' as much as we do!

I consider the fact that the day she trusted Christ as her Savior might be the day she celebrates.

Or the day she 'ran into heaven' - August 16th-

maybe that day is of more significance to her now than the day they placed her in my arms

And we named her Leisha Danae!

Maybe- because time in heaven is so different than on earth-

Maybe it only feels like 7 seconds since she's been there

And not the 7 long years I have labored through to find healing.

But there's more! 

She is face to face with Jesus, Son of God

Singing, serving, loving, working, welcoming, talking- you know she is talking

maybe even praying- for me, for her dad and her sisters, for her friends.

I don't know how that works.

But the thing that astonished me was that she was 'face to face' with Jesus.

I recall the words of the song "I can only imagine… what it will be like...when your face...is before me!"

As I lay there in the darkness- peace came!

The same peace I felt the afternoon I sat with her in the ambulance before they took her away

Overwhelming peace that everything that was Leisha except this beautiful shell

Had already run on to heaven.

The vibrant life I had seen moments before  was completely gone.

I knew she was with Him now.

I never was more sure of anything in my life.

I felt peace!  Now- as then!

She is with Him!

Safe!

Whole! Not broken!

Kneeling at His feet!

Complete!

I slept!

I woke later in the morning to my mom playing the piano as I fondly remember her doing all of my life.

My heart was comforted at the sound of it.

Then I realized what she was playing… and I smiled and sang along with the words I could remember....

...face to face, I shall behold Him, far beyond the starry sky;

            face to face in all His glory, I shall see Him by and by!

Vs1.Face to face with Christ, my Savior,
Face to face—what will it be?
When with rapture I behold Him,
Jesus Christ who died for me.

CH. Face to face I shall behold Him,
Far beyond the starry sky;
Face to face in all His glory,
I shall see Him by and by!

Vs2. Only faintly now, I see Him,
With the darkling veil between,
But a blessed day is coming,
When His glory shall be seen.

Vs3.What rejoicing in His presence,
When are banished grief and pain;
When the crooked ways are straightened,
And the dark things shall be plain.

Vs4.Face to face! O blissful moment!
Face to face—to see and know;
Face to face with my Redeemer,
Jesus Christ who loves me so.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/963#ixzz2TBQynuQR