Monday, August 30, 2010

110 Days of Green Extended

Traditionally, as of the last 3 years- our 110 days of Green would end on August 16th- the anniversary of Leisha's homegoing! But this year is different. It feels good that this year it is still going. Since I'm not always sure what we meant by 110 days of green anyway, I'm not sure what makes it keep going - but it is.

I've written that we've been working in Lei's room all summer. It's been such a good project to do together. We felt like this was something we needed to do ourselves, as a family. It's been part of our "moving on", so to speak, in the grief department. Some things were very difficult- like putting on the first coat of primer to cover the walls she painted. Other things were challenging, such as the peg board ceiling we put up- all four of us. Our differences in communication were very obvious then. But we made it. Cait spent her last few days home running the sander on the floor. Brie helped to finish off the edges. Then Cait and I stained and varnished the floor. Soooo not perfect, but it is beautiful. We finished it the weekend of the 16th. We haven't really moved anything in. We've picked out furniture- just saving up the shekels to pay for it now. It has to be the right furniture you understand!

But part of the green that is 'keeping going' has to do with all of us! It's the 'moving on' that we are all doing now that the room is done.
  • It's Cait going to Jerusalem University this fall to begin her Master's Degree. She returns mid December. She's there and loving it! I love what she's learning and how real the stories from the Bible are becoming to her as she walks the streets built on streets of long ago. She's written on her blog some of her first impressions. You can check it out at
  • It's Brie getting ready for Rome, Italy. She leaves the 9th of Sept. It took her all summer to settle in at home, and now she'll be gone so far- her first overseas trip. She'll be there till Thanksgiving! She's been working on a blog- I'll post that later. Her excitement over her art and the art that she is studying is inspiring!
    I've added clocks for Rome and for Jerusalem on my blog so I can always know the official time for all of us.
  • It's Ren exploring some dreams both with his business and his ministry. I love watching and seeing God open his heart and life to a 'new thing'.
  • It's me- finally feeling some direction. I'm beginning a new class to become certified as a life coach- emphasis is life, relationship and bereavement. Pray for me! I know as I study, issues will stir up emotions in myself. But I sense it's time to pursue something I thought I would try 5 years ago. I guess my understanding of grief and life are much different than it was then- so I'm already a better qualified student than I would have been.
I don't know all the next steps- but I love that it's a GREEN one for all of us! I'm ok with 365 days of GREEN a year! I guess sometimes that can happen if you've had times of brown to prepare you for the next step. As hard as they are-I see their value!
Praying Green for you in your brown world! Keep paying attention! It may come very unexpectedly!

Monday, August 2, 2010

What a day!

You know that day- the one you have after you've been sick and you wake up and realize you feel better than you have for a while and everything finally has a bit of sunshine on it.

I was sick this weekend- just a cold! Ren had one the week before- I could tell he didn't feel good- but he kept going! I just can't keep going! I felt miserable! Just when I felt like something good was happening- I went down.

But as I laid in my bed this weekend, I realized I used to be down all the time. I didn't necessarily feel bad like I did this weekend- but being down was my constant. Now I got so impatient just being down a couple of days! I went to work Friday feeling so-so, and I've had three days to sleep it off. I think I'll be ok tomorrow. Oh what a good feeling that is! Lord help me not take that forgranted. I know what it feels like to be sick a long time.

I have friends who can't sleep it off- they are sick, very sick! It won't go away, it won't get better. You are still God! You are still good! But when they don't feel well- it's hard to remember that You are in the sickness too! You are there! Lord, show your healing, comforting hand to my friends. Care for them! comfort them! Show yourself to them in ways they will see You! Give them hope!