Life is full of moments that catch you by surprise and take your breath away or moments that sock you in the gut and knock the breath out of you.
Learning to live in both is such a process! But if you take just a moment- in the middle of it all- to NOTICE what is really going on, you might find, be it ever so small, a small bit of GREEN! HOPE that is just beginning to show new life, a new normal. But good none-the-less!
Here's to noticing!
I woke up earlier than usual this morning- slept better than I have for a long time. Ren kissed me good morning and all felt right for the first time in a long time.
As I had my worship time, I turned on a favorite CD by a group called Avalon. I didn't pay much attention until the song called "new day".
Some of the phrases stood out in ways like never before...
"The old has passed away the new has come."
"I put my past behind me- you have covered my mistakes and all my broken dreams."
"Memories I could not escape don't haunt me anymore."
"Because of what you've done for me-I don't have to be ashamed."
The chorus said…
The dawn is drawing near and I realize the sun did rise and it's a new day and a new time.
It's a brand new day."
Reminded me of Jerry Sittser (A GRACE DISGUISED) and his story of the recurring da dream he had in his grief that he was trying to lasso the sun and keep it from going down. He shared that with his sister and she challenged him "why don't you let go of the lasso and let the sun go down. Turn east and walk into the darkness. Wouldn't the sun come up sooner that way."
The morning I first read that chapter I threw the book across the room. I was sure that the sun would never ever rise again after Leisha died. I knew it would physically- because it did the morning after she died. But in my grief, I could never imagine that it would in me!
And yet this morning I realize again, it has! The SON has come up in me!
Avalon sang sang on. Their next song was Adonai (the song I sang w my girls as a quartet. Something we will never do again. Still one of my deepest griefs). The chorus sings
Maker of each moment
Father of hope and freedom
Adonai is why it's a new day for me today. He is why today I live, and move and have my being. He is why I KNOW HOPE and am experiencing freedom.
The sun did rise...
And it's a new day
and a new time.
God showed up!
Are you watching for Him in your journey? Sometimes you have to close your eyes and ask yourself what you are seeing. I dare you to do it- right now.
Close your eyes!
Think through the day! Where did God show up?
He's there for you too!
Rom. 15: 13
May the God of Green HOPE- fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace,
So that your believing lives, filled with the life giving energy of the Holy Spirit
Would brim over with hope.