A Birthday card ...for Leisha?

...or for me?

We celebrated Leisha's birthday (April 28) and my Dad's birthday (April 29) with my parents and my brother Brad, Tanya, Chelsi and her boyfriend Zach!  I don't know if we've ever celebrated Dad & Leisha's birthday's together all these years.  But Ren & I got to be in Texas this time and enjoyed our visit with them.

Mom slipped a card over to me after we finished eating.  On the front was written 'Leisha's Hope' and inside was a gift for the electricity DEEP WOODS project.  I was elated.  There was also a page that had been torn out of a daily bread devotional.  She had marked some portions of it that she especially wanted me to see.  I slipped in back in the envelope and promised I would read it later.  

I didn't get a chance to read it till we were traveling home a couple of days later.  But I was amazed how it tied in with the dreams and words of the hymn on Leisha's birthday. (See April 28th's blog)

I include it here in it's entirety so I won't forget what it said...

from OUR DAILY BREAD, February 8, 2013

Mysterious Truth

Sometimes when the infinite God conveys His thoughts to finite man, mystery is the result. For example, there’s a profound verse in the book of Psalms that seems to present more questions than answers: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants” (116:15 niv).

I shake my head and wonder how that can be. I see things with earthbound eyes, and I have a tough time seeing what is “precious” about the fact that our daughter was taken in a car accident at the age of 17—or that any of us have lost cherished loved ones.

We begin to unwrap the mystery, though, when we consider that what is precious to the Lord is not confined to earthly blessings. This verse examines a heaven-based perspective. For instance, I know from Psalm 139:16 that Melissa’s arrival in God’s heaven was expected. God was looking for her arrival, and it was precious in His eyes. And think about this: Imagine the Father’s joy when He welcomes His children home and sees their absolute ecstasy in being face to face with His Son (see John 17:24).

When death comes for the follower of Christ, God opens His arms to welcome that person into His presence. Even through our tears, we can see how precious that is in God’s eyes.

Lord, when sorrow grips our hearts as we think about

the death of one close to us, remind us of the joy You are

experiencing as our loved one enjoys the pleasures of

heaven. Please allow that to give us hope and comfort.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. —Psalm 116:15

A sunset in one land is a sunrise in another.

Pasted from <http://odb.org/2013/02/08/mysterious-truth/> 

Thanks Mom!

Happy Birthday Leisha!

She would have been...

22!  Today she would have been 22,

and possibly graduating from college with her friends this May

And maybe 'getting married'
like her other two sisters are this year. 

But I don't know what she is 'right now'!

I sense she is very much alive

Thoroughly using the gifts and abilities
God has designed her to use

Experiencing deeply the joy of being authentically  Leisha

But this morning I sense there is more… much more!

I woke up from some vivid dreams- It is dark

and I'm aware I am not in my own bed, but the guest bed at my parents home. Ren lays beside me sleeping soundly, though he had been so restless the night before.

Much like I felt now.

The dreams were a collage of dreams really- all having a different setting  and different characters too

But the plot was similar

Somewhere- somehow- something tragic happened and someone died.

Someone was ripped out of the life of another who loved them.

Someone was left with a gapping hole and a horrific ache.

I would stir from one dream only to appear in the middle of another story with the same heart wrenching scene.

I lay there sobbing silently- reliving what was  my own tragic  scene

Rehashing my own violent emotions

Longing- deeply longing to hold my girl once again.

To celebrate her birthday with her present-

this day that reminded me she had lived

She had messed up my world from the day she was born

And I knew I would never be the same because of it.

I was eternally grateful.

But this night my heart senses more...much more!

My Leisha may not celebrate her 'earth birthday' as much as we do!

I consider the fact that the day she trusted Christ as her Savior might be the day she celebrates.

Or the day she 'ran into heaven' - August 16th-

maybe that day is of more significance to her now than the day they placed her in my arms

And we named her Leisha Danae!

Maybe- because time in heaven is so different than on earth-

Maybe it only feels like 7 seconds since she's been there

And not the 7 long years I have labored through to find healing.

But there's more! 

She is face to face with Jesus, Son of God

Singing, serving, loving, working, welcoming, talking- you know she is talking

maybe even praying- for me, for her dad and her sisters, for her friends.

I don't know how that works.

But the thing that astonished me was that she was 'face to face' with Jesus.

I recall the words of the song "I can only imagine… what it will be like...when your face...is before me!"

As I lay there in the darkness- peace came!

The same peace I felt the afternoon I sat with her in the ambulance before they took her away

Overwhelming peace that everything that was Leisha except this beautiful shell

Had already run on to heaven.

The vibrant life I had seen moments before  was completely gone.

I knew she was with Him now.

I never was more sure of anything in my life.

I felt peace!  Now- as then!

She is with Him!

Safe!

Whole! Not broken!

Kneeling at His feet!

Complete!

I slept!

I woke later in the morning to my mom playing the piano as I fondly remember her doing all of my life.

My heart was comforted at the sound of it.

Then I realized what she was playing… and I smiled and sang along with the words I could remember....

...face to face, I shall behold Him, far beyond the starry sky;

            face to face in all His glory, I shall see Him by and by!

Vs1.Face to face with Christ, my Savior,
Face to face—what will it be?
When with rapture I behold Him,
Jesus Christ who died for me.

CH. Face to face I shall behold Him,
Far beyond the starry sky;
Face to face in all His glory,
I shall see Him by and by!

Vs2. Only faintly now, I see Him,
With the darkling veil between,
But a blessed day is coming,
When His glory shall be seen.

Vs3.What rejoicing in His presence,
When are banished grief and pain;
When the crooked ways are straightened,
And the dark things shall be plain.

Vs4.Face to face! O blissful moment!
Face to face—to see and know;
Face to face with my Redeemer,
Jesus Christ who loves me so.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/963#ixzz2TBQynuQR

A Plethora of Emotion.....

This is an amazing time of my life!

Fortunately I have had some time to just 'reflect' lately. To process -to just sit in some of these emotions has helped to bring clarity to some of the stuff whirling around in my head and heart these past days.

I'm very aware that 'sitting in' these emotions is not an easy thing to do. It feels like it would be so much easier to just move forward from here instead of taking all the energy to identify what emotions I am feeling. Let alone figuring out what impact they are having on me and on my decisions for the future.  But moving forward is actually nigh to impossible if the circumstances or emotions keep digging in deep to the now- or even deeper to the past.  So... I sit!


Have you ever looked up the word 'plethora'?
It means overabundance, or excess.
One definition was overfullness!

That one seems to most describe this time-- overfullness!

First and foremost,
Our daughter, Brielle, got engaged last October and is getting married this October.  So we have already had a lot of wedding plans being made.
Then our daughter, Caitlin, got engaged in this past March and is getting married this July!
Yes, before her sister!
Yes, it's a deal!

But we are thrilled for both of the girls and so grateful for both of the young men that God has brought into their lives to do this marriage journey.  We look forward to getting to know them all better as young adults now.  They have been such a gift to us in so many ways.

The girls have been living on their own most of the year after having graduated from their respective programs.  But there is some finality of them getting married. To have them both getting married in the same year, well, we feel emotions we hadn't anticipated.  We are thrilled for both of them- but it means that a season of life is done.  Empty nest is official and we are feeling it more than we dreamed.

I suppose it is coupled with hearing them speak of their dreams and plans for their futures.  It has reminded us of ours - so long ago!  We are not where we thought we would be at this juncture in our lives.  Oh, in some ways we are- but we didn't get there like we envisioned and we're not sure we are content to stay here.  But what does that mean?  Not sure yet!

In addition to planning weddings, last October I stepped back into a role on the support staff of our church.  I had worked there for 3 years shortly after Leisha died.  Then stepped out for 2 years to finish my schooling and establish my coaching a bit.  But the Lord continued to develop in me a longing to be back on the team.  Quite unexpectedly, our pastor asked if I would have any interest in taking my old job back.  I was ready to say yes almost immediately.

However, just recently, Barbara, one of the staff members that I have loved getting to know, handed in her 'retirement papers".  She has been on staff 16 years and will be missed so very much in that role.  She's not leaving the church- just stepping out of the position.  I cherish her friendship more than that of working with her- but I have learned so very much from her. Probably most significantly, to SEE- outside my box, bigger than ever, more simply than usual.  She has pointed me to God over and over again.
So her transition has stirred up lots of things:
a feeling of loss, though it is more just change,
 memories of a time when we did the leaving.
It's not the same- but it prompted a reliving of so many of the same emotions.

Combine wedding planner & home renovations, with the part time job & letting go of co-worker and I become one 'overbusy' lady.  I have had to take a step back with my Green Hope Coaching-- temporarily.I am still an instructor at the school I received my certification. I am still coaching with private individuals or groups, but I am not planning groups or events for the time being.

Overfull!
That describes this time!
It's not bad-
just FULL!

Full of transition & change
Full of emotions- joy, sadness, fear, anger, dreams, purpose, generosity, selfishness, faith, hope, love.
Full of pondering- and no time to ponder- though my heart tells me I need to ponder more
Full of opening my hands to what God is doing
Full of realizing that I closed them again around something that seemed so important
only to realize that they are closed around the wrong thing - and learning to open them again.
Full of setting goals- but never really intending to finish them
Full of seeing goals come to fulfillment
Full of uncertainty, yet curiosity about the future.
Full of great joy- but there is heartache too!
Full of kairos- those 'God breaking into my world' moments
Full of the awareness that God is here- revealing Jesus- and transforming me!

Oh Lord!  May I always be!
Open
Ready
Over FULL!

God is Here, Darlene Zschech

Announcing...

...the engagement of our daughter, Caitlin, to Jack Andrews!

Congrats Cait and Jack, we are excited for you as you look ahead to your future together.  We know there is much to learn - about each other, about your direction, about your love for one another.  But we also sense the commitment you have made to each other is strong.  We are proud of you both!    

Long time...no hear from...!

Accountability!
     Responsibility to someone or for some activity.

Over the last few weeks, I guess it is months now, I haven't posted anything here!

At first, I wondered if anyone would notice.  To my surprise, some did!
The comments started coming.
     Where are you?  Why aren't you writing?
     Are you doing ok?
     I've missed your blogs!  Hope you will write again soon!

As I replied, I realized that I have missed the writing, or more importantly, the processing of my many thoughts.  They have just been rumbling around in my brain, tumbling over each other in an effort to find some place to land.  Writing here on this blog has been a 'place' for so many musings over the past several years.

I also began to ponder that, if there are people who have missed what I am writing, then the words that God gives me to write here are not just for me- but for a kingdom work He is doing in others also.

It took others who were willing to hold me accountable to the process to remind me.
Thanks for noticing!
Thanks of the challenge to process out loud.

Thanks for stopping in at the Brickhouse to see how GREEN HOPE is showing up!
I have lot's to tell you!
Talk to you soon!

Meet the Thiessen Family- all of them!

It all started with TWO Thiessen's- about 56 years ago! 

It was literally two Thiessen's.  Dad was a Thiessen and Mom was a Thiessen. We've gone back about 14 generations and still haven't found a connection of their two families.  Because their last names were the same, and they were both from Kansas, they sat near each other in all of their classes. Professors thought they were siblings so they never gave them grief when they spent a lot of time with each other.  

Then there were the original FIVE!

Kathy, Cyndy, Steve, Brad, Doug

I mean, FIVE!

Seriously KIDS!

Then each one added one!

Spouses left to right: Rennie, Eileen, Tanya, Jenny, Tom

I won't go by dates they entered the family, or by age!
But Tom's the oldest and Jenny is the youngest.

And then there were more originals to come! (left to right)

Two of Kathy's girls are pictured here: Brielle and Caitlin

Then Steve's kids: Kara, Kayleen and Kyle

Brad's have Lyndsi and Chelsi

and Cyndy's tribe is Kristen, Matthew, Shannon and Phil

Now they have begun to add some of their own. 

Jason, Steve, Steve and the little one, Abbi.

Yes, if you noticed there are two more Steve's in the family

- and they both are with Steve's girls!

Talk about marrying someone like your dad!

Even a few that aren't IN...yet!

Jack and Zach joined us this year!  Girls, we like them both!

From left to right by families:

•  Brielle and her fiance Jason Augsburger, Caitlin with boyfriend Jack Andrews and our dog Lucy, Rennie and Kathy, 
• Kayleen and fiance Steve Meckle, my brother Steve and Eileen, Kara with husband Steve Piatt and 2 month old Abigal Paige Piatt (APP), Kyle is standing behind them, 
• Dad and Mom, 
• Chelsi with boyfriend Zac, Lyndsi, Brad and Tanya, 
• Doug and Jenny, 
• Tom, Kristen, Matt, Shannon, Phil and Cyndy Bergmaier

Nope, nothin' much has changed in the Thiessen family!

Merry Christmas!  May your 2013 be filled with hope, peace and joy!  

And may your family have as much fun as we did in the new year!

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Narrator: (Grandpa reading from Luke 2 and Matthew 2)

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.  And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph (played by the one and only, Chelsi) also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 

He went there to register with Mary (our stunning Lyndsi), who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 

While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son (ok, so our baby was sweet Abbi girl- but she played a great baby Jesus). She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

(Stage Left:enter shepherds)

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. (Shepherds were played by Kyle, Shannon and Jason.)

 

 (But of course there were sheep: Brad, Doug and Kristen.- of course there is one black sheep!) 

And you have to have a sheep dog. Right, Lucy?)

An angel of the Lord appeared to them (Tanya, the shining), and the glory of the Lord shone around them,

and they were terrified. 

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, (all the remaining Thiessen clan- hard to photograph)  “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. (So the babe was not lying in a manger- we had a hard time letting her be put down anywhere. We all had to have our turn holding her.)

When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

(SCENE CHANGE)

 (new animals: camel by the great camel player Tom; and Jack, the long eared donkey- sorry Jack! You scored great girlfriend points with that one!)

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east (Matt, Phil and Cait) came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born.  “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

 “‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
    are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
    who will shepherd my people Israel.’”

 Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.  When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.  

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

(that's not the end- it's just the beginning of that story. To be continued at Easter.)

Special thanks to all actors, actresses, and narrator.  As well as the support team who helped to pull together the costumes and scene necessities! A good time was had by all- especially those left watching!