Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Remember is a verb!

I'm still pondering!

I remember
the past
people who have meant something to me
parents, siblings, mentors, teachers, music directors, advocates, heroes
or people who have hurt me
who modeled for me in someway how NOT to live
things I have done that are so fun & inspiring
or things I have done that hurt others- intentional or not.
opportunities grabbed & opportunities missed
choices made- results or consequences of those choices
promises made- promises broken
dreams fulfilled
dreams yet to find fulfillment
dreams let go of or forgotten
times when I saw God
I saw him at work
I saw him bigger
I worshiped him
I humbled myself before him
I saw him do exactly what I thought he SHOULD do
I saw him do something I thought he SHOULDN't do- He screwed up
I was disappointed in him
I was angry at him

Sometimes it's easy to remember. Sometimes it takes time of sitting and pondering a memory.
Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes is just tooooo hard. Sometimes its a waste of time. Sometimes it is healing. Sometimes it's a matter of choice!

Sometimes you have to start writing things down or start drawing it out on a lifemap and then other memories begin to peek through and pretty soon you have tons of memories and you have to stop because it's overwhelming.

Sometimes you have to be honest about what the memory truly was- how you really were impacted by it- good or bad.

Sometimes you have to place physical things in your life to help you remember; a special chair, a favorite picture, a verse on the fridge or a green stone in your pocket. Sometimes it is a place; in the car, by the fire ring, at the beach, in the woods, in her room.

I remember!
I weep!
I remember!
I sigh!
I breathe!
I recall words- of promise, of healing, of hope!
I weep!
I see Him with me!
I worship!
I remember!
I go!
I do!
I love!
I make new memories!
I remember!
I know Him bigger!
I worship!
I weep in gratitude!
I hope!
I remember!

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