Friday, August 16, 2013
A morning with my friend!
It was hard to wake up this morning! Just as it was hard to sleep last night!
My thoughts have been rambling- wanting so much to celebrate
But feeling the weight of grief so strongly.
But today, I had a reason to not dally- my friend was coming to visit
We hadn't had a chance to catch up since she went back to her home far away last fall.
So much to hear about.
She's come from a very dark place - to a place of hope, of healing
In her own mind,
In her marriage
In her parenting
In her relationship with her parents
In her ability to have friendships, dear friendships
In her relationship with God
In her relationship to her church
Wow! Such a transformation!
Her words to me were, "Thanks for not freaking out that I wanted to leave my husband and run away from my kids. I just couldn't see anyway out then. I didn't know how dark it had gotten."
I didn't freak out, because I remembered a time just like that in my own journey. A time I wanted to run away, or more specifically end it- the rat race, the relationship- maybe even life itself. It happens to all of us eventually. Life is just hard sometimes- and then you combine it with emotional ups and downs, and unfulfilled expectations and unrealistic expectations and add hormones to that...it can be really hard and really dark.
I didn't freak out because I know what it is like to have just given birth to a third beautiful daughter, but feeling undone by it all.
So much joy- so much fear
What if I mess up?
What if I can't love them enough?
What if I don't teach them the right stuff or discipline them when I should?
What if I get angry and discipline them wrong?
I didn't freak out because I knew if you hung in there,
If you just did the next right thing- no matter how small that step might be
No matter how many times you need to ask for help
No matter how many people you need to lean on
Ever so slowly you begin to find the next 'light' place to be.
The shade may ever so slight- but that little bit of light gives hope…
For the next step
For the next decision
For the next healing place.
I didn't freak out because I had been there- done that!
I could have grace with her pain because I could connect hers with my own.
Most people's stories relate somehow with the stories of others.
Oh it might be a different scenario,
Or a different season of life
Or not the same at all.
But we've all known fear
We don't have to know it the same way, to know it hurts.
Our pain may not be as bad- or it may be worse.
It doesn't matter.
We can know how someone else might be feeling just by connecting with our own story- and remembering what it felt like
To be betrayed
Or let down
Or to fail at something really important to us.
Who is in your life that needs grace right now?
What part of your story do you need to recall to give it to them?
I wouldn't have missed this morning with my friend.
How sweet to hear her story of the amazing ways that she has found hope.
How powerful to hear of significant ways God is using her story to speak hope to others now too.
My friend, today- you were my joy gift!