It was hard to wake
up this morning! Just as it was hard to
sleep last night!
My thoughts have
been rambling- wanting so much to celebrate
But feeling the
weight of grief so strongly.
But today, I had a
reason to not dally- my friend was coming to visit
We hadn't had a
chance to catch up since she went back to her home far away last fall.
So much to hear
about.
She's come from a
very dark place - to a place of hope, of healing
In her own mind,
In her marriage
In her parenting
In her relationship
with her parents
In her ability to
have friendships, dear friendships
In her relationship
with God
In her relationship
to her church
Wow! Such a transformation!
Her words to me
were, "Thanks for not freaking out that I wanted to leave my husband and
run away from my kids. I just couldn't
see anyway out then. I didn't know how
dark it had gotten."
I marveled.
I didn't freak out,
because I remembered a time just like that in my own journey. A time I wanted to run away, or more
specifically end it- the rat race, the relationship- maybe even life itself. It happens to all of us eventually. Life is just hard sometimes- and then you
combine it with emotional ups and downs, and unfulfilled expectations and
unrealistic expectations and add hormones to that...it can be really hard and
really dark.
I didn't freak out
because I know what it is like to have just given birth to a third beautiful
daughter, but feeling undone by it all.
So much joy- so much
fear
What if I mess up?
What if I can't love
them enough?
What if I don't
teach them the right stuff or discipline them when I should?
What if I get angry
and discipline them wrong?
What if…
What if?
I didn't freak out
because I knew if you hung in there,
If you just did the
next right thing- no matter how small that step might be
No matter how many
times you need to ask for help
No matter how many
people you need to lean on
Ever so slowly you
begin to find the next 'light' place to be.
The shade may ever
so slight- but that little bit of light gives hope…
For the next step
For the next
decision
For the next healing
place.
I didn't freak out
because I had been there- done that!
I could have grace
with her pain because I could connect hers with my own.
Most people's
stories relate somehow with the stories of others.
Oh it might be a
different scenario,
Or a different
season of life
Or not the same at
all.
But we've all known
fear
And anger
And disappointment
And grief
We don't have to
know it the same way, to know it hurts.
Our pain may not be
as bad- or it may be worse.
It doesn't matter.
We can know how
someone else might be feeling just by connecting with our own story- and
remembering what it felt like
To be betrayed
Or let down
Or rejected.
Or to fail at
something really important to us.
Who is in your life
that needs grace right now?
What part of your
story do you need to recall to give it to them?
I wouldn't have
missed this morning with my friend.
How sweet to hear
her story of the amazing ways that she has found hope.
How powerful to hear
of significant ways God is using her story to speak hope to others now too.
My friend, today-
you were my joy gift!
Thank you!
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