Ever have a day that you can remember almost every detail of?
Today is one of those days for me!
I remember waking up with an agenda
I remember the car ride, tired eyes and silence,
I remember conversations, and laughter over shakes at Steak and Shake.
I remember a sour cream carton being pitched across the aisle only to come crashing to the floor- and more laughter and some clean up.
I remember wondering how I was going to make it without getting upset.
I remember wanting to laugh but feeling like I had to be responsible.
I remember dreams and plans being made.
I remember saying no when I should have said yes-
and saying yes when I could have said no.
I remember sparkling eyes, flush face, and fresh hair color and more dreams being shared.
I remember last words.
I remember caring arms, and tears shed and disbelief.
I remember a father falling to the ground in tears.
I remember hearing the scream.
I remember meeting a new face- one I will pray for forever.
I remember numbness, yet feeling fully alive!
Completely aware of so many thoughts and emotions and sensations.
Only beginning to realize that God must be bigger than I had ever known Him to be
for this to be able to be good
or for me to survive.
I remember humming her song on the way home- only to burst into tears when I recalled the words.
I remember not being able to imagine I could sleep- only to wake to a morning sky- the sun still long from shining bright, but already making her presence known.
Days like that happen only a few times in our lives.
Some things I will forever hold precious
Others bring sharp pain and often a gasp
Still others deep, deep gratitude and soft, gentle tears.
No, Days like that are one of a kind!
I never want to forget this day!
I love you Leisha!
Life is full of moments that catch you by surprise and take your breath away or moments that sock you in the gut and knock the breath out of you. Learning to live in both is such a process! But if you take just a moment- in the middle of it all- to NOTICE what is really going on, you might find, be it ever so small, a small bit of GREEN! HOPE that is just beginning to show new life, a new normal. But good none-the-less! Here's to noticing!
thinking of you, leisha, and your family today. love and prayers being sent your way! -Anna
ReplyDeleteThank you Anna! It has been a good day- an exquisite day in many ways! Thanks for your love and prayers! I continue to pray for you as well.
DeleteKathy