Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Today is Leisha's birthday! April 28th

I remember this day like I do the births of my other two girls- I usually begin with when the first labor pains began. Cait & Brie will say, "ok mom, what time was it when...? as if to humor my need to remember it all. But Leisha would settle in next to me and ask, "and then what did I do?"

She was born on a Sunday! It just happened to be THE Sunday that our church was dedicating a brand new sanctuary. Rennie was overseeing all the music and helping with the child dedication at the end of the service. But 45 minutes before the service began, I had to call him to tell him it was time. I couldn't wait at home anymore. And just as the church family witnessed parents dedicating their child to the Lord, Leisha made her way into our family.

It was 12:16pm! April 28, 1991.

I miss so much being able to share the story with Leisha today! I talk to her all the time- I don't know if that means I'm crazy or not, but I talk to her a lot. I just wish so much she could talk to me, in her inquisitive, sometimes demanding way. I miss those talks! I miss her dreams and her consternations. I miss her ramblings of the goings on of all her friends and her ideas of fun things they could do together.

I remember the day she came bounding in to the kitchen after a worship team rehearsal and squealed, "Mom, do you know what GREEN means! My favorite color means my favorite word! HOPE! GREEN means HOPE!"

As I ponder today, I affirm that no matter how painful her death has been and continues to be, I wouldn't give up her birth, her energy, her love for life & people, her struggle for faith & purpose, her passion for GREEN-and the hope that it represents.

I'm different because she was in my life- I'm better! Both in the miracle of her birth and the anquish of her death, I have seen God bigger and more able than I ever knew Him to be before. I understand HOPE in a way that was only hopeful thinking before.

I feel the new life of Spring with more vitality and freshness than I've ever known.

And each Spring since she died, I experience more LIFE & more HOPE.

Two years ago, on her birthday, we declared,- well, ok, I declared and the others are cooperating- 110 DAYS of GREEN! From Leisha's birthday till the anniversary of her homegoing is 110 days. So during these days, we look for all the GREEN, new life, growing hope things we can find. It's not that we don't look for those things all year round. But instead of dreading the upcoming anniversary of her death, I choose to look for the things that inspire LIFE, that empower HOPE.

I'd love for you to join us in our journey, our 110 days of GREEN! God doesn't waste anything- so LIVE with eyes wide open and see what it is God is doing in your world! Join us- Seeing GREEN HOPE in a brown world!

Happy Birthday Lei! I love you still!


  1. This drawing is absolutely beautiful! I think the 110 Days of Green are a healing way to remember, grieve and hope! I will be watching my world with you. I appreciate your openness.

  2. :) I am definately in on the 110 days of Green! Beautiful blog Kathy. Oh and if you are crazy for talking to her sometimes then I think of her friends are a little crazy at moments too. ;)
    -Sarah Smith

  3. Kathy, this is beautiful!

    I'm in....I'm joining you in your 110 days of Green! Although I never met Leisha, I just know I would have loved her, and share her passion for GREEN!


  4. After reading this post and the next one and also having in the back of my mind the "eyes peeled for green", I was struck by the fact that here in Japan we have a holiday called Green Day. "Officially, as its name suggests, it is a day to commune with nature and to be thankful for blessings." ( Interestingly, up until 3 years ago, that holiday was April 29th, with which the differences in time zones is actually April 28th in the USA for a good part of the day. So, now I think of a second meaning whenever I hear "Green Day"! Hugs to you today!